It is time to talk about the ‘F’ word. (not that F word), Failure.
No matter who you are or what you do, that word has the power to strike fear within us. But why?
Did you think you’d be further in your career than you are?
Are you struggling to save for a house deposit?
Or are you just not sure where to go next?
Thinking that you should be somewhere that you are not is intimidating and frankly, exhausting.
Let’s look at why you might think you are failing and what you can do about it!
1) You are too busy blaming other people
“I’d be much more motivated to progress in my career if I didn’t have to work with negative Susan, she drains my energy”
“I’d be earning so much money if my manager paid me what I am actually worth, I get paid peanuts!”
“I’d be so much smarter if my parents didn’t sign me up for so many extra curricular activities”
You need to follow your own path and keep your eyes on your own path. Your career is yours and yours alone, therfore you are the only one who can influence or change that path. Stop blaming other people or things and use that time to think about how you can get what you want – it only makes sense, right?
2) You are comfortable
You have a job, you can pay your pills on time, you have money for a few luxuries every month. Technically, that isn’t failing. But you are not going anywhere, you are settling for the good-right-now at the expense of what is good for your future.
Do something that scares you a little (for no reason). Get out of your comfort zone, take on a project that is a bit of a stretch, sign up for a new course or a poly for a job that is a bit of a stretch! When you find yourself hesitating, as yourself why and what you have to lose.
3) You are avoiding hard truths
Facing reality is hard and not something any of us want to do. But it is an essential part of self-development. That is why we have a million different things to distract us; reality tv, cat videos and constant updates on Facebook. We all have different ways of “turning off” and relaxing but using them as ways to avoid thinking about your future is shooting yourself in the foot. Yes, it might feel uncomfortable when you realise you are not on the right path or stuck in a rut but it benefits you more to address that rather than avoid it now and regret it in the future.
It is time for a self audit. Where are you now? What do you love? What do you hate? What can you change and where do you want to be in 5 years? Do this exercise by yourself, you are the only one who has the answers.
4) You think you are too old to make a change
We pick our careers pretty early in life based on what we study at college or university. This is basically a set path based on what we think were good at. But just think about this, do the beliefs you had when you were 18 still hold up now? How many of hobbies or interests are the same? Do not lock yourself into a careers because of that what you studied at university.
if you feel like you are in a career that doesn’t interest you, make a change even if it is small. Think about what you want to do and then do some good old fashion, research! like education, certifications or skills.
5) Your fear of failure
Yes, this is a thing. Failing because you have a fear of failure. Do you avoid taking risks because you are scared of failing? or avoid being pro-active in case you are not right? This type of failure is sneaky, because it is disguised as self-care.
Being scared of things that can help you grow is NOT self-care. Don’t be afraid to lose or be wrong. Make a bad decision once in a while because chances are, these lesson you learn from it will out-weight the “losing” part.